Death and Girls' Basketball

Almost three weeks ago, our son's spouse Savanna lost a young sibling to suicide. 

John and I drove immediately to Denver to be with Kenny and Savanna. This last weekend I drove back again for the funeral service. To make matters even more complicated, Savanna's sibling Blake was a young trans person. In spite of enormous support, Blake fought depression and finally succumbed to it. 

I won't say it's easy for an old Catholic like me to wrap my mind around the issue of transgenderism. My good son Kenny, who is so tender and attentive to Savanna, reminded me again and again to use the proper pronouns - an exercise at which I failed miserably. Not only am I old, but I'm an English teacher. Switching pronouns doesn't come easily, but I'm trying.

What was abundantly clear, however, was that Blake was a sweet and compassionate young genius who renovated school busses and even large vans into spaces of residential beauty. Blake was mourned by family and friends alike - even by their high school band teacher who showed up to the service. Tommy, our younger son, and his lovely girlfriend Ana Maria accompanied me to the service and were moved as well by Blake's loyal family members and friends. Blake's untimely death is a tragedy for all, and it's especially a tragedy that a beautiful young person didn't feel able to live in our society. 

Most of the way home, after Kenny dropped me off in Ogallala and I could be by myself, I wept - for Blake and their siblings and parents and friends and the unrelenting cruelty all over the world. No matter where you turn these days, you're forced to eyeball the tragedy in Israel, Palestine, Ukraine and even here at home. It's enough to knock you to the ground some days.

"When these things happen," I advised my children after the funeral, "the best thing to do is be together, eat good food, then go back to work."

It's not much, but it's served me well. I have to believe that a loving, merciful God is still in charge. But Lordie, it's hard some days.

It was good to be home, finally, with my husband and cats and the kids at school - the places where life continues to be steady and unchanging. At the same time my own kids were grieving and saying goodbye to Blake, our Central Catholic girls' basketball team was preparing for the state tourney. It's been comforting to cheer them on. The old adage is always true - life goes on.

John and I have been supporting our Crusaders from home, thanks to talented graduate Trenton Turek who helps broadcast the games on KRGI. It was just what I needed after these difficult two weeks. Our girls and their coach, Kevin Mayfield, are a breath of fresh air in the midst of heartbreaking grief.

If you don't know our girls, I wish you could meet them. 

Carolyn Maser and Avery O'Boyle, our only seniors, are the nicest girls in school. Carolyn, with her peaches and cream beauty, nevertheless plays center like a young warrior and wrangles with the best of them. Avery is the poster child for determination. I will never forget last season when she stepped to the free throw line for a shot that would win or lose the game. You've never seen such focused determination.

"She won't miss," I told my husband. And she didn't.

Add to the pack Bryndal Moody, our point guard who arrives early in the morning and shoots for hours in the old school gym, Anna Tibbets who's just as feisty and competitive, and sweet Maggie Herbek who shoots three's like you wouldn't believe - and you have the nucleus of our team.

You can't forget Jordan Stegman, one of our favorite kids in the world, or Alex Herbek - as kind as her big brothers are ornery. Wonderful Lauren Schardt was a big part of this team, too, as were Jacie Palik, Reegan Reilly, Ellie Tibbetts, Ava Gellatly, Izzy Mueller and Kenley Bogner.

Just this morning in the semi-finals, they lost to a talented Sidney team by two - after they were behind by as much as a dozen points. To be honest, I didn't think they had a prayer at halftime. But I should know better never to underestimate these kids or Coach Mayfield. They fought and clawed their way back into the game and almost pulled it off.

I'm so proud of these girls, and I love them so much. 

They make me grateful to be their teacher. 

I wonder how it'll be to retire and leave this school atmosphere of life-giving children. They've been the laughter, comfort and loving energy through every great loss of these last 47 years, and they always make everything better.

The Crusader girls suffered their own loss this morning. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't come close to losing a beloved family member. Still, it feels significant to these sweet girls and their coaches on this cool morning in March. 

They'll be okay. They have all their young lives to look forward to, people who love them, and a great faith in their compassionate God. 

Believe me, that'll get you through anything.

   2023-24 Grand Island Central Catholic Girls' Basketball Team 


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